by April Van Scherpe
Ten years ago, I was besieged with the worst cold of my life. As I writhed in bed, awash in sweat and Kleenex, barely able to crack an eye to distract myself with TV, I lamented every moment. I never would have guessed that I’d miss being in that position.
Now I’m a parent and getting sick is a seasonal eventuality, as predictable as the leaves falling from the trees. But instead of riding it out in bed with snacks and Netflix—I mean, that sounds like a vacation!—I’ve still got to report for duty. There are kids to feed, to entertain (albeit feebly), and—if they’re also under the weather—to nurture and heal.
It’s the reality show nobody wants to watch: the ultimate survival challenge of Parenting While Sick! And if you’re a parent, then someday, you will be a contestant. Let’s talk about how to win that game—or at least come out on the other side.
Adjust Your Expectations
If you’re parenting while sick, it’s time for a perspective shift. Today (or the next week or two, heaven forbid) is about survival. You’re not going to win any parenting awards right now, and that’s OK. It’s not the time to make progress on potty training, reduce screen time, or declutter the house. It’s time to relax your routines and expectations—especially expectations of yourself. If your kids are fed, watered, and safe, you are doing a fine job.
Things will function a bit differently around your house during these sick days. You can expect that the house will get messy—I mean, messier. Projects and errands are going to pile up—let them. There will be plenty of time to catch up, once you feel better. That said, when you’re tempted to spend your limited energy on something, ask yourself whether it can wait. Do the kids really need that nightly bath?
Consider shortcuts that will reduce your workload. For example, use paper plates and paper towels this week to cut down on dishes and laundry. For dinner, how about canned soup, a favorite frozen dinner, or pizza delivery?
Ask for Help
Relatives and sitters who will pinch-hit for a sick parent—now those are the real MVPs! If you have access to caring people who will “sub in” for you, by all means, use them. If they aren’t up for babysitting (or don’t want to risk germ exposure), perhaps they’d be able to do a grocery run or pharmacy pick-up.
If you don’t have family or bosom buddies nearby—you can look to three sources: paid help, convenience services, and the generosity of your local community.
Paid Help: Services like Care.com, Urban Sitter, and local parent’s groups can help you find last-minute, in-home childcare. Many providers are willing to care for sick kids. To outsource non-childcare tasks (e.g. running errands, assembling furniture), try TaskRabbit or NextDoor.
Convenience Services: These days, food and supplies are just a few clicks away. Want a new toy to occupy your kid’s time so that you can nap on the couch? Amazon Prime and Google Express have fast delivery options: even same day! Need to restock the entire fridge? Instacart, AmazonFresh, and Safeway Delivery have you covered. Craving soup for your sore throat? Try GrubHub, Postmates, or UberEats. There’s also good, old-fashioned, pick-up-the-phone pizza delivery. And if you’re feeling well enough to drive, Target Drive-Up will bring pre-ordered items out to your car.
Local Community: It may feel awkward to ask, but communities are full of Good Samaritans. Local parenting groups (via Facebook or NextDoor), faith communities (church, synagogue), or even local Buy Nothing groups may be able to give supplies or run errands for you. Sometimes, our own reluctance to ask for help is an obstacle. People are often willing to pitch in if they are asked for something specific. (Of course, use your best judgment and common sense when interacting with strangers, especially online.)
Low Energy Entertainment
To get well, you’ll need to rest—and that’s not the easiest task with young children. How do you keep them occupied while you’re sick? Try activities that let you lie down on the couch or in bed. Pretend that you’re “the baby” and your child is “the mommy”; then have them tuck you in, bring a blankie, and sing you a lullaby.
For a more active game, try a scavenger hunt, and ask the kids to go find something blue, something fuzzy, something square, etc. If your child knows how to use the camera on your phone, have them go around the house and take photos of their favorite things. Make it into a guessing game: they take an extreme close-up, and you guess the object!
If you can handle some music, have your child dance out their energy—or stop and start songs for “freeze dance”. Your child can also read a book to you; if they aren’t reading the words yet, ask them to make up a story that fits the pictures.
Kids often have the longest attention span for toys that are new—or new to them. If you have any future surprises hidden away, now might be the time to raid that stash. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Even a sheet of stickers, dollar-store items, or a Burger King crown can be delightful.
And of course, if you’re screen-time friendly, that’s a useful tool on a sick day. It may be your key to an uninterrupted shower or a bonafide nap.
Prevent (or Delay) the Next Time
Alas, when you’ve got kids, you’ve got a continual vector for bugs (blame those developing immune systems!). While you can’t avoid sickness altogether, you can help reduce the frequency and severity of illnesses. We all know that fresh air, exercise, nutritious food, and getting enough sleep can help you stay healthy. Taking certain vitamins can further boost your immune system, such as Vitamin C, B6, and Zinc. In addition, frequent hand washing and liberal use of hand wipes or sanitizer can help limit or reduce transmission. For example, we keep Wet Ones wipes in every door pocket of our vehicle so we can easily clean hands after outings—as well as wipe down shopping cart handles or other germ-ridden surfaces!
Of course, you’ll want to limit your exposure to known illness, i.e. keep a distance from those who are sick. It’s a sad thing to miss a play date or special event, but if someone there is debatably “not contagious anymore,” consider whether it’s worth the risk of your own family falling ill. Do your part to contain illnesses by keeping your family home when they are sick. Community works best when we all look out for one another!
Finally, you can help your future self by preparing for next time. Many sick-day necessities are shelf-stable and can be kept on hand. Stock up on your go-to supplies (medicine, boxed chicken broth, Pedialyte) and activities (cheap toys from the Dollar Store or Target’s Bullseye Playground). It will make the next round of colds that much easier.
We’ve all been there, fellow sick parent! We feel for you—and we know you can do this. Feel better soon!