Chores. Even saying the word out loud sounds draining to many of us. As parents, we spend a lot of time on our litany of household responsibilities. With good intention, we may feel that we are “preserving our kids’ childhoods” by sheltering them from the realities of domesticity.
However, this perspective may, arguably, be a Western cultural construct. Many other cultures ranging from Japan to Central America skillfully encourage a toddler’s natural curiosity and desire to mimic what their elders do around the house. In these cultures, chores facilitate socially engaging family time and help kids develop a sense of belonging in the household. And toddlers honestly have fun doing them!
Enabling toddlers to help with chores is good for their social and cognitive development. Research suggests that giving toddlers age appropriate chores can foster the development of executive function skills such as practicing self-control, using memory to connect ideas, and thinking creatively. It promotes self-esteem, independence, focus, and responsibility. It teaches them organization, prioritization, and patience. It facilitates learning practical life skills that they need to take care of themselves, their families, and their communities as they grow.
So how do we go about encouraging toddlers to take part in chores? We can start with a few pointers:
1. Expose toddlers to chores early and frequently so they see chores as a fun, social experience.
2. Give them small but real tasks, not “mock” ones. For example, if you are sweeping, let them hold the dustpan rather than let them “pretend sweep” after you’ve already swept the room.
3. Always work together. Think of the extra time it may initially take us to complete a task with a toddler as an investment for the future.
4. Don’t force chores. Support toddlers in participating when they show interest.
5. Reframe how we perceive toddlers. Many mundane household tasks to us are just actually explorative play for them, especially when you make these tasks into examples of sorting, mixing or pouring “games.” To show our toddlers that “Clean Up” can be just as fun as “Peek-a-boo” or “Load the Laundry” can be just as fun as “Stack the Blocks,” we have to ensure that their chores are age appropriate. We need to closely supervise them while they’re first learning a task, but we can let them lead as their abilities evolve. There are many resources for suggested chores that toddlers can perform (see sources 5-8).
These are a few examples:
18 mo-2 yrs old:
Help load laundry into washer
Help transfer wet clothes from washer to dryer
Sort clean clothes by color
Put away books after reading
Put away toys in a bin
Help with spills with a sock on their hands
Wash fruits and veggies
Mix ingredients in a bowl
Take out non sharp utensils from dishwasher and hand them to you for storage
Water plants with a cup
2-3 yrs old:
Peel bananas and oranges
Sprinkle spices or toppings on a dish
Set plates
Sort laundry by size/articles of clothing
Fetch shoes, jacket, hat when leaving the house
Match socks
Take out towel and toys for bath time
Put away toys consistently
So while we may be skepitcal of letting our toddlers do our grocery shopping as shown in
Netflix’s “Old Enough!,” maybe we can start with handing them an old sock, some spoons from
the dishwasher, or a banana to peel, you know…for fun.
Sources:
1. https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/06/09/616928895/how-to-get-your-kids-to-
do-chores-without-resenting-it
2. https://www.firstthingsfirst.org/first-things/chores-serve-as-learning-moments/
3. https://orisonorchards.com/raise-successful-adults-give-children-chores/
4. https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-
Guide/Chores_and_Children-
125.aspx#:~:text=Chores%20are%20routine%20but%20necessary,as%20early%20as%20a
ge%203.
5. https://www.guidepostmontessori.com/blog/try-age-appropriate-chores
6. https://www.berkshiremontessori.org/msb-blog/chores-they-re-good-for-your-kids
7. https://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/wp-content/graphics/Jobs_for_Kids.pdf
8. https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/toddler/toddler-chores
Sudha Bhadariraju
Sudha is a Pulmonary Critical Care Physician at Mills Peninsula Hospital in Burlingame. She spent the last 3 years on the front lines of the pandemic and now takes her first go at motherhood in stride. She enjoys Indian music and dance, cooking, and traveling, and is still trying to find room for hobbies.