The Power of Showing Up

Written by Sudha Bhadriraju

As a parent, the power of consistently showing up for your child is the single best way to help your child form secure attachment. Secure attachment is not only important for your relationship with your child, but also foundational for all other relationships in their lives, even as adults. Research shows that children with positive, secure attachment to their parents have more maturity, have increased empathy, and are less angry and disruptive than their peers with insecure attachment. They develop into mentally healthy, resilient adults who can trust and empathize with others, have self-esteem, and have healthy long-term relationships.


Parents can show up for their children by responding to their needs with the 4 S’s, a framework popularized by Drs. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson in their book “The Power of Showing Up.”

SAFE:
Parents have to keep their kids safe and make them feel safe.
*Make a commitment that you won’t be the source of fear in your home. 

*If you lose patience and make a mistake, repair with an apology and reconnect with your child as soon as possible afterwards.
*Create a home environment that’s a safe harbor where your child knows that you prioritize their wellbeing.


SEEN: 

Children who feel seen will feel validated, so they can confidently and independently explore the world. 

*Keenly observe your kids to understand what may underlie their outward behavior. 

*Make time and space to let your kids take you into their world with conversations, pretend play, and through creative outlets like art and music.  


SOOTHE:

The goal is to teach your child self-soothing and emotional regulation.

*Build a coping toolkit with your child that matches their temperament before emotional situations arise. These can include breathing exercises, repetitive phrases or counting numbers, a physical space they can escape to, or safety objects like a ball or pillow to punch/squeeze/bite in order to release frustration when they are feeling upset. 

*Offer your P.E.A.C.E.: your Presence, Engagement, Affection, Calm, and Empathy to help your children navigate big emotions. 


SECURE:
*Each time you show up when your child needs you, it fosters trusting adult relationships with you and others.
*Encourage your children to understand, not be afraid of their emotions. This allows them to feel vulnerable, make mistakes, and voice their opinions without fearing punishment or rejection. Teaching them to recognize similar emotions in others helps them learn empathy and ultimately helps them grow into emotionally regulated, secure adults. 


Our presence as parents is critical in moments when our children’s little brains are overwhelmed with big feelings, when their little bodies are inundated with uncomfortable sensations, and when their hearts long for calming silences or hugs and kisses to make sense of their hurt. When we show up, we sanction our children’s vulnerability as they experience feeling so human. 

Sources:

1. https://drdansiegel.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/POSU-Refrigerator-Sheet.pdf 

2. https://www.tinabryson.com/thepowerofshowingup 

3. https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-styles-childhood/ 

4. https://psychcentral.com/relationships/the-4-ss-secure-attachment 

5.https://www.scholastic.com/parents/family-life/parent-child/age-attachment.html#:~:text=Mercer:%20At%20around%20the%2015,child%20to%20an%20unfamiliar%20place 


Sudha is a Pulmonary Critical Care Physician at Mills Peninsula Hospital in Burlingame. She spent the last 3 years on the front lines of the pandemic and now takes her first go at motherhood in stride. She enjoys Indian music and dance, cooking, and traveling, and is still trying to find room for hobbies. 

Nutritious & Easy-to-Prepare Foods for Your Little Ones for Busy Parents

By Ilaria Chan

For most of us, the concept of preparing nutritious meals for our toddlers is usually at odds with our busy schedules. After all, “nutritious” meals sound like they require preparation from scratch every day right? 

As a busy mum who’s also juggling a full-time career, I am always on the lookout for recipe hacks that do not compromise my son’s nutrition. Here are a few of my favorite, quick-to-make, but healthy and nutritious, foods for our growing toddlers: 

1.Quesadillas: Quesadillas are quick to make, easy to feed, convenient to reheat, and allow us to throw in several healthy ingredients in one go. I usually choose whole wheat tortillas, and add in cheese, fresh vegetables (such as tomato, carrot, sweet potato, spinach, corn), finished with a protein (chicken, ham, beef). 


2. Sweet potato fries (best with air fryer): Sweet potato is a tasty superfood (good source of Vitamins A, C & B-6, fiber and potassium) that most kids love. I usually toss freshly cut sweet potatoes into my air fryer (lightly coated with olive oil) and serve it with healthy ketchup (I use True Made Foods or Yo Mama’s ketchup that contain no added sugar). Only takes around 12 minutes! 


3. Meat balls: I love making meatballs because I can tick off all the nutrition needs in one ball. I usually mix 2 proteins (lean turkey with beef or pork), add in eggs, any kind of vegetables (peas, carrots, corn, sweet potato, kale, spinach), iron-fortified baby cereal (to help bind the meat ball), whole milk, and my choice of herbs with a small amount of salt and pepper, then bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes until fully cooked. The beauty of meatballs is that you can easily freeze and prepare in large batches to save time. Kids love eatingthem and they are easy to break into smaller pieces in the future for spaghetti or sandwiches. 


4. Garlic fried rice: Fried rice is another crowd favorite that allows us to throw in all the ingredients we’d want our child to consume and still guarantees a delicious meal. I usually use brown rice, generous helpings of garlic and onion, turkey bacon,  lean beef, or ground turkey, eggs, peas, carrots, and even kimchee. For those of you who have toddlers with a gourmet palate, adding in dried seaweed flakes or sesame on top can take your dish’s umami to the next level within seconds. 


In addition to the dishes I mentioned above, I usually stock my home with whole milk yogurt, cheese, whole wheat crackers, and lots of fresh fruits such as blueberries, strawberries, oranges and grapes so that my toddler can self-feed during snack time. I know that our children’s eating habits are at the forefront of our priorities, and hope the recipe suggestions in this article can be helpful to you! 

Ilaria Chan is the chairwoman of an international think tank. She also serves on the boards of humanitarian NGOs, venture capital and real estate funds, and is a frequent keynote speaker at tech and investment conferences around the world. 

Beyond Dates: Creative Ways To Deepen Your Connection with Your Partner

After becoming new parents, we often neglect two of the most important things: our sleep and our relationship with our spouse. While the days of two dozen roses, heart shaped chocolates, and fancy red-colored dates may feel like a fugue, Valentine’s Day can still serve as valuable reminder to invest more time and heart into your romantic relationship. Traditional date nights are not always easy to schedule around childcare. Here are some non-date ideas that will inspire you to reminisce about and rekindle the bond that is the foundation of your family.

1. Write love letters.

A handwritten and hand-delivered note about how much you love someone is vintage gold. A thoughtful ode to how great of a partner we are is what everyone wants for Valentine’s Day. For a fun twist, you can create a dedicated email address where both of you can send each other love letters, thoughtful quotes, or a love poem. You may even be tricked into feeling that this is more romantic than texting.

2. Gift each other phone-free time.

A digitally detoxed block of time just staring into your lover’s eyes and listening to their voice may feel so real it may scare you but in a good way. It’s a sensory field trip to the Museum of Natural History’s highly rated exhibit: a world before smartphones, when even the silence between two people could speak to you.

3. Dream together.

Putting your dreams down on paper and physically creating a vision board together is a perfect way to talk about the future you want to build together. You already have all the scissors and glue you need. Warning: this may lead to some serious conversations.

4. Read to each other.

After reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear, or Llama Llama on repeat for the 400th time, it will feel refreshing to read an adult book to another adult, and be read to. It’s a great way for you to relax and listen to each other when both of you are too tired to talk. It may also be the only way to cross things off of your reading list this year.

5. Play a sport together.

A little healthy competition on the basketball or tennis court may be the gateway for other forms of coupled physical exercise. Since this is a G-rated Little Wonders’ blog post, I’ll leave it at that.

6. Cook a multi-course meal together.

While this takes a little extra planning for the weekly grocery run, it’s a fun and more practical way to get a Michelin experience without waiting for a reservation. Feel free to outsource what you don’t enjoy cooking. Make it feel premium by hosting it in an outdoor space, getting fresh flowers for the table, and dining after the kids go to sleep.

7. Organize photos.

This is a great way to spend a rainy afternoon strolling down memory lane. You can pick out your favorites together and order prints to be framed. You can repeat this 2-3 times a year to keep the walls of your home fresh with beautiful memories.

If you are busy this February 14th, just make it a Valentine’s week, month, or year. Any day is a great day to love and appreciate your partner. And if you’re too tired, too preoccupied, or too whatever else to do any of the above, it’s also ok to go with the backup plan: Netflix-and-Cuddle (while the kids are napping).

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Blog written by Sudha Bhadariraju.

Sudha is a Pulmonary Critical Care Physician at Mills Peninsula Hospital in Burlingame. She spent the last 3 years on the front lines of the pandemic and now takes her first go at motherhood in stride. She enjoys Indian music and dance, cooking, and traveling, and is still trying to find room for hobbies. 

Healthy Holiday Snacking for Toddlers

‘Tis the season for everything shiny, jolly, and of course sugary! While all of our holiday celebrations, especially those with kids, come with sprinkles of sparkles and sweets, it’s always nice to have a little holiday away from the sugar rush. But that doesn’t mean we have to take out all the fun or buy a lot of special ingredients. A few clever substitutions like using fruits and veggies for color and decoration, or using veggie purees or hummus instead of frosting will do just as well.

Here are a few recipes we can DIY with our kiddos this holiday season. Happy Holidays!

1. Santa Banana Kabobs

Ingredients:

  • Wooden skewers 

  • Ripened bananas

  • Strawberries 

  • Chocolate chips

  • Red colored M&Ms (optional)

Directions:

  • Cut a banana into thirds and half way down a skewer. 

  • Flatten a marshmallow or use a banana slice for the bottom of the “hat” and place it on top of the banana.

  • Remove strawberry stem and place it wide side down on top of the marshmallow/banana slice. 

  • Place a small marshmallow to top off the “hat”. 

  • Use chocolate chips to make eyes and a small red M&M to make a nose. You can also use a small piece of strawberry for the nose.

Credit: https://www.healthylittlefoodies.com/18-healthy-christmas-snacks/#santa-banana-kabobs 

2. Holiday Toasts

Ingredients:

  • Whole-grain bread, toasted

  • Holiday-themed cookie cutters (i.e. snowflake, gingerbread man, Christmas tree, candy cane, ornament etc.)

  • Assorted spreads (i.e. peanut butter, cream cheese, mashed avocado or guacamole)

  • Assorted decorations (i.e. diced veggies, fruit, mini chocolate chips, etc.)


Directions:

  • Ginger Bread Man: Peanut butter + diced strawberries for mouth + mini chocolate chips for eyes and buttons 

  • Candy Cane: Cream cheese or laughing cow spreadable cheese + diced strawberries for stripes 

  • Christmas tree: Mashed Avocado + diced veggies for decorations (i.e. peppers, cucumbers, broccoli) + cheese for star 

  • Ornament: Cream cheese + assorted veggies for decor + chunk of cucumber for top of ornament 

  • Snowflake: Cream cheese + mini chocolate chips + coconut 


Credit: https://www.hauteandhealthyliving.com/8-healthy-christmas-snacks-for-kids/.  

3. Penguin Crackers

Ingredients:

  • Whole-grain circular crackers 

  • Cream cheese or laughing cow wedges

  • Black olives, cut in half lengthwise

  • Baby carrots, sliced into 1/4 inch pieces

  • Black peppercorns

Directions:

  • Place the crackers on a flat surface. Spread the cream cheese over the surface so that the whole cracker is covered.

  • Place the olive halves on either side of the cracker for wings.

  • Cut a little triangle out of each of the carrot slices and place two on the bottom of the cracker for feet. Stick the little triangle on the cracker for the nose and two peppercorns for the eyes. Serve immediately. 

Credit: https://www.hauteandhealthyliving.com/8-healthy-christmas-snacks-for-kids/ 

4. Almond Coconut Ball Snowmen

Ingredients: 

  • 150 g unsweetened shredded coconut plus extra for rolling

  • 6 tablespoon ground almond almond meal

  • 3 tablespoon unsweetened coconut milk shake the can well first

  • 3 tablespoon coconut oil melted

  • 2 tablespoon maple syrup

  • ½ teaspoon almond extract or vanilla 

  • chocolate chips or raisins

  • dried apricot or carrots

Directions: 

  • Whiz all snowball ingredients in a food processor or blender, scraping the sides down often, until it sticky and well combined.

  • Roll balls of the mixture into balls, and roll each ball into more shredded coconut. Thread three balls onto each stick. 

  • Cut the raisins or chocolate chips into small pieces for the snowman eyes and mouths, and buttons. Cut dried apricots or carrots into triangles for the noses. Store in the fridge.

Credit: https://www.superhealthykids.com/coconut-snowballs/ 

Sudha Bhadariraju

Sudha is a Pulmonary Critical Care Physician at Mills Peninsula Hospital in Burlingame. She spent the last 3 years on the front lines of the pandemic and now takes her first go at motherhood in stride. She enjoys Indian music and dance, cooking, and traveling, and is still trying to find room for hobbies. 

Spring Slowdown: How to Take it Slow

By Jill Kolongowski

In what feels like the perfect anecdote for a blog about springtime, I’d intended to write this blog post ahead of time for Easter. But, as you all know with a kid, my time is not my own and large swaths of it seem to escape, and I look up, and wonder what day it is. Easter is tomorrow, and now I’m writing this blog. (But I did find these easy, fun activities for easter eggs—which my toddler LOVES—that you can do year-round.)

As the pandemic (hopefully?) seems to be easing, the world feels like it’s speeding up again. Calendars are filling up with summer plans long postponed, and for those of us in the Wednesday Ones class, our babies are now toddlers, and questions about preschool and work-life balance are always at the top of our minds. Springtime is traditionally a time for cleaning out the old, for starting over, for a feeling of newness. All of those things can feel like an opportunity to press the metaphorical gas pedal—hurry, hurry, time to get going—it’s spring!

Instead, though, I’m taking this spring (perhaps the last one where I have a good amount of down time with my daughter before she’s in school more and more hours) as a chance to not speed up toward a new season, but instead slow down. I was inspired on a walk with her, when I had groceries in the stroller, and we needed to get home and get them put away, and get on to lunch, and the next thing. But she wanted to get out of the stroller and walk. I decided to let her, just to let her run out some energy. Instead of running, though, she decided to walk slowly, stopping at every single tree on the block, and kissing it.

 The easier choice, of course, was to insist she stay in the stroller to get home. And of course, sometimes we have to do the un-fun hurrying—eventually, we have to get where we’re going. But my toddler is teaching me to be patient and to slow down. Not only did we find a ladybug on tree bark, but we found new buds growing on formerly bare trees, worms in the dirt, and new flowers. To help us learn about spring, we loved reading Busy Spring: Nature Wakes Up by Sean Taylor and Alex Morss—this book is about a father and daughter learning about spring in their own backyard (and in this book, spring is busiest for the creatures, while father and daughter slow down to watch). The world is so new for our kids, and slowing down allows us to see it. And as we get some rare rain, we loved slowing down inside, too, to read Hello Rain by Kyo Maclear and Watersong (a fun book about all the sounds water can make) by Tim McKanna.

 A spring slow-down is not just about stopping to literally smell the flowers, but instead about the choice that you can make in how you spend your time. There are so many wonderful options for things to do with your child—music class! gymnastics! hiking class! daycare and/or Little Wonders!—but I was beginning to feel like we were already overscheduled, and my daughter is not even two yet. So, as a part of our spring slow-down, I decided to cut back on our scheduled activities for the fall. With our new schedule (even with me going back to working more hours), we have one weekday with no obligations. We can stay inside and listen to the rain, or go to the playground, or play in the backyard, or take a long time listening to music and playing at breakfast. No one is asking us to be anywhere, and our time is our own (well—our time is our toddler’s).

Whether spring has you feeling renewed energy or like maybe there is too much energy to hold, I hope you’re able to find time for slowness, too.

Ode to a Neighborhood Park

By Angie Yeh

What’s the best park to go to?  In my opinion, it’s your neighborhood park.  Sure, it has its flaws: there are no restrooms, an insufficient number of swings, and the worn turf is crumbling off the playground.  But the local park is conveniently two blocks away, so familiar that your toddler knows the way there, and you can count on seeing the regulars at the usual time of day.

I have a lot of nostalgia for my childhood neighborhood park.  It was the only place my anxious mother would let my older sister and I walk to by ourselves, (insisting I wear a bike helmet while on foot in case there were any reckless drivers on our suburban streets).  We spent countless lazy hours on the rickety wooden playground, wishing there were more kids to play with in our neighborhood.  I had a favorite tree with a comfortable perch that I pictured in my mind when I lay awake at night, plotting my scheme to run away from home and secretly live at the park.  I had my Sesame Street sleeping bag and my stuffed dog Rover at the ready whenever I felt disenfranchised by my family.  When I was 10, I finally got my wish fulfilled of getting a real dog.  It became our family’s routine to take Digit on a walk after dinner to the park, letting her race to her preferred spot under the trees.  In our teens, my sister and I woke up early to run laps around the paved loop, becoming friendly with all the seniors on their morning stroll who cheered us on.  

When I was in my 20s, my dad called me one day, excitedly recounting the drama in the local newspaper about our beloved park.  Due to a lack of space, the town was considering renovating our sleepy neighborhood park, mostly frequented by grandparents and their dogs, into a weekend destination complete with soccer fields, sport courts, a parking lot and restrooms.  Surrounding neighbors protested the proposal with lengthy Letters to the Editor and strongly worded petitions.  A city council meeting lasted five-and-a-half hours as 80 people spoke on the issue.  I felt torn, because as a former youth soccer player, finding suitable soccer fields in the Bay Area had always been a problem.  Plus, a bathroom would be nice, many times we had to sprint home prematurely to avoid disasters.  Ultimately though, I wanted to protect our peaceful, unexciting park and preserve its natural grove of redwood trees.  In a lucky twist, the city found another location for soccer fields, but decided to add restrooms, sport courts, and a meditation garden without leveling any of the existing trees and hills in the park.  My parents still live in my childhood home, so now when we go visit, I get to take my kids to enjoy the same park with all its improvements.

When I was chatting with an old friend about the tiny neighborhood park in SF we used to take our toddlers to, she mentioned that she doesn’t necessarily miss the neighborhood after moving away.  It was more the sentiment for that time period in our lives when it was vital to have a place to go after naps for endless swing time and looking for ants.  Our friendship blossomed back then when we both suggested a 7:30 am playdate at the park with our early risers.  Whatever your neighborhood park lacks in utility, the time you spend there will be enough for your kids to remember fondly.

Here’s a list of local parks that are in my rotation with two little kids:

SHADY PARKS

On a hot, hot day in July…

Ray Park

Location: 1525 Balboa Way, Burlingame, CA 94010

Notes: With an updated playground, this cool spot is great for both toddlers and older kids.

Indian Springs

Location: 313 W. 39th Ave, San Mateo, CA 94010

Notes: Water play may happen in the little creek, and there are wood chips on the park grounds.

Twin Pines

Location: 1 Twin Pines Lane, Belmont, CA 94002

Notes: There’s a gated playground, lion statues, and free afternoon concerts in the summer.



ENCLOSED PARKS

So you’ve got a runner…

Paddock Park

Location: 2900 Baze Road, San Mateo, CA 94403

Notes: This is a toddler favorite because of good sight lines and there’s also a sandbox.

Vista Park

Location: 1030 Vista Road, Hillsborough, CA 94010

Notes: There are winding roads to get there and no restrooms, but it’s peaceful and beautiful.

Laurelwood Park

Location: 3471 Glendora Dr, San Mateo 94403

Notes: There’s no shade on the playground, but there’s a large grassy area with trees next to it.  Great place for easy trails as well, but watch out for poison oak and snakes!

UPDATED PLAY STRUCTURES

Something new in the neighborhood!

Washington Park

Location: 850 Burlingame Ave, Burlingame, CA 94010

Notes: Best on a weekday morning to avoid the crowds, there’s artificial grass turf that is perfect for a pre-walker. Not gated.

Primrose Park

Location: 248 Primrose Rd, Burlingame, CA 94010

Notes: Small, gated, and next to the parking lot.  Best on a weekday morning to avoid crowds.  After visiting the library and picking up your Philz order downtown, let your toddler run around here before heading home.

Victoria Park

Location: 30 Howard Ave, Burlingame, CA 94010

Notes: Cool new space theme, gated, no restrooms.

Curiodyssey Whoosh! Magical Bridge Playground

Location: 1651 Coyote Point Dr., San Mateo, CA 94401

Notes: The playground is included in admission to Curiodyssey, you must make reservations and purchase tickets to the museum.  Not gated, but semi enclosed and near the animals, say hi to Gunner! Afterwards, check out Magic Mountain Playground within Coyote Point, we love the dragons!

Magical Bridge Playground (Redwood City)

Location: 939 Valota Rd Redwood City, CA 94061

Notes: Another great inclusive playground, take note of the rules and guidance.

Mia’s Dream Come True Playground

Location: 28377 Huntwood Ave, Hayward, CA 94544

Notes: The origin story behind this inclusive playground is truly inspiring!

WALK/STROLLER/SCOOTER/BIKE

I need to stretch my legs but I also have the kids with me…

Ryder Court Park

Location: 1801 J Hart Clinton Dr., San Mateo, CA 94401

Notes: I like to park at Seal Point Park, go walk the Bay Trail and then let the kids play here. There is a splash pad, but the water features have been turned off recently.

Crystal Springs Sawyer Camp Trail

Location: 950 Skyline Boulevard, Burlingame, CA 94010

Notes: I like to park at the North Trailhead in Millbrae. My toddler likes to hang out on the bridge and say hi to the ducks in the reservoir.  Beware of the many bicyclists who share the trail. 

San Bruno Mountain

Location: Old Guadalupe Trail, Daly City, CA 94014

Notes: I like to park in the residential area on Crocker Street in Daly City at the Crocker Gate Trailhead.  The path is shady with several benches along the way to stop for snacks and a story.

Rancho San Antonio

Location: 22500 Cristo Rey Dr Los Altos, CA 94024

Notes: Parking can be full at peak times.  Entice your littles to make the 1 mile walk to the farm, there’s a cow, sheep, chickens, and the plumpest bunnies we’ve ever seen! 

BEST DAY EVER

Venturing out for a full day of fun, but a car nap might (probably will) happen…

Tilden Park

Location: 2501 Grizzly Peak Blvd Berkeley, CA 94708

Notes: The carousel and little farm are near the Canon Drive entrance and the steam train is near the Lomas Cantadas entrance.  Bring full lettuce leaves to feed the animals at the farm!

Tennessee Valley Trail to the Beach

Location: 591 Tennessee Valley Rd, Mill Valley, CA 94941

Notes: When we lived in SF, I used to do this hike with my 3 year old.  I’d recommend bringing a carrier, jogging stroller, or toddler balance bike for the trek back as little legs tire out.  Check out this blog post for details of the hike.  Everyone will sleep well that night!

Vasona Park

Location: 333 Blossom Hill Rd Los Gatos, CA 95032

Notes: This was my family’s favorite picnic spot when I was a kid, you can rent paddle boats on the lake.  Right next door is Oak Meadow Park with a playground, a carousel, and a steam train that goes through Vasona Park.  Stop for gelato in downtown Los Gatos on the way home!



Spring Forward: Teaching Our Kids New Ways to Show Love

By Jill Kolongowski


I’m getting ready to leave the house to run an errand, and I tell my 20-month-old daughter I’m leaving and ask if she wants to say goodbye. Instead of a hug, or a kiss, or tears, she comes running at me with her fist extended: she wants to give me a fist bump.

Our daughter has never been a cuddler, but she’s always been affectionate in other ways: she loves hugging her animals, herself, (and her water bottle or her snack), and asks for kisses before bed. She blows kisses to birds outside, and wants to kiss Elmo on the TV. As we recover from the sleep mess of Daylight Savings, I’m thinking about the ways spring can feel like a new season, a starting over, a renewal. This spring season, I’m thinking about how we can teach our kids new ways to show love to others, whether physically, or with words, or even with our actions. For my father, not the most physically affectionate dad, he still sends me chocolates shipped across the country from our favorite local place in the Midwest, even now that I’m almost 35.

Traditionally, kids have often been expected to hug grandpa, or give a kiss goodbye as a requirement. Instead, for teaching our kids about alternate physical ways to show love, I love seeing viral videos like this one, about preschool and elementary teachers giving their students options for how to say hello (hug, high five, or a dance). There is no pressure for any one option, and all ways of showing affection are valid. This also gives kids a little bit of control, which is so important in a world where they rarely have it.

For our daughter, when we greet people, we ask her if she wants to say hi or bye, and whether she wants to use her words, a wave, a fist bump, or a hug or a kiss. She almost always chooses one, but we also tell her it’s okay to not say hi. Even this early, we want her to know that it is her choice how she wants to show love, and, equally as important, how she doesn’t. We want to teach her that she should have control over how her body interacts with others (though of course, we hope she never stops running up to us with her lips pursed for a smooch!).

Similarly, it’s important to my husband and me that our daughter see the two of us being physically affectionate with each other! Neither of us saw much parental affection in our own homes, so we want our daughter to see what a loving relationship can look like (though of course, there are many ways to show affection!). We often point out when one of us is doing something kind for the other (look! Daddy is cooking dinner for us. Daddy loves us so much! Mommy brought you your favorite book for bedtime—thank you, Mom!). We hope to show her that love can come in many forms—a hug, a kiss, a laugh, or cooking a meal. A bonus, for a new season of marriage: this is a great opportunity for my husband and I to feel physically close, as is harder to come by with a busy toddler! A hug in the middle of the day is wonderful for both my daughter and for me.

Because last month was also Black History Month, we’re teaching our daughter that showing love for others can also look like attention. We can start by showing love for our communities by learning about them. Here’s a wonderful round-up of books for Black History Month for 3, 4, and 5-year-olds, (from the excellent Instagram account HereWeeRead including books about Black joy! And here’s a fun bingo card to accompany your reading. We can show our kids that spending time with the voice of others, that giving attention and listening are ways we can show love too, even if the official “month” has ended!

As the flowers start to bloom, we can look toward a renewal in the ways that we teach our kids about love. Whether it’s flowers, a fist bump, or a blown kiss, we can give them plenty of ways to show and receive love in ways that feel best for them!

HOLIDAY CELEBRATIONS: A TIME TO CONNECT

By Angie Yeh

I love the beginning of Fall because it signals the many upcoming holidays to celebrate!  Clara, my kindergartener, came home from school in early October with a worried expression as she said, “My teacher said that not everybody celebrates the same holidays. Some people don’t celebrate Halloween and that’s ok. She doesn’t celebrate Easter or Christmas, but she celebrates other holidays with her family.  Do we celebrate all holidays?”


I’m glad that Clara brought home this question as it opened up a discussion of which holidays and unique rituals our family celebrates together.  Her question also highlighted for me the importance of recognizing and learning about the holidays of other cultures and faiths and including them in our conversations with our friends and classmates. 


I thought of the narrow portrayal of holidays marked in the typical U.S. school calendar.  What happens when a kid thinks that a limited list contains all the holidays that exist in the world? Or if they think there is a “right” or “wrong” way to celebrate a holiday?  Suddenly, a memory emerges in vivid detail: St. Patrick’s Day. First grade. Boston suburbs.

THE BROCCOLI LASAGNA

“Mom! We need to bring food for a potluck at school. It has to be green.  For St. Patrick’s Day, remember?  It’s tomorrow.”  Tired from a long day at work, my immigrant Chinese mom sighed.  But she could see from my pleading eyes that it was important to me.  So we discussed possibilities and settled on my favorite “American” food, lasagna.  And to meet the green criteria we added broccoli.  My mom stayed up late making a large pan of broccoli lasagna.   I went to bed excited and happy, with the delicious scent of baking pasta and cheese emanating from the oven.


The next day at school, we put on our paper leprechaun hats and filed into the cafeteria for the St. Patrick’s day party.  I saw rows of treats lined up: green sprinkled shamrock cookies, green frosted cake, lime punch, scones dyed green with food coloring...and realized my mistake. With a sinking feeling in my stomach and burning cheeks I quickly walked all around the room checking the food.  Embarrassed and somewhat secretly relieved, I didn’t see my lasagna.  That night, when my mom asked how the party was, I mumbled it was fine but my lasagna wasn’t there.  I felt ashamed to tell her that we didn’t choose the “right” food.  I didn’t want her to feel bad like I did, that we didn’t understand how to celebrate St. Patrick’s day like everyone else.


A week later my mom came with me after school to track down our missing lasagna pan.  We walked down dark and empty halls until we ran into the school custodian who said, “Sorry, I saw something left behind in the kitchen and didn’t know what it was for.  The lasagna was delicious, we ate the whole thing! My family enjoyed it very much, thank you for sharing it with me!”

We got our pan back, and I felt a little relieved. To this day, whenever there’s a potluck, I try to sign up to bring cups and plates!

FAMILY RITUALS 

Fresh off the strong emotions from my childhood memory, I told Clara that her teacher was right: every family can choose to celebrate their own holidays in their own special way.  I reassured her that she doesn’t have to be like everyone else and that she’s not missing out.  We celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas.  Our Thanksgiving table includes traditional turkey, but it is stuffed with her Popo’s Chinese sticky rice.  Part of the joy of holidays is being able to create your own unique family traditions and to celebrate them across the years and generations.  


DIVERSE REPRESENTATION

Of course, this prompted the question: what are other holidays that our friends and neighbors celebrate? After a quick internet search, it is clear that there are embarrassingly few English language picture books for less U.S. mainstream holidays.   Fortunately, the diversity of the Bay Area has prompted the library to purchase books to prepare for events such as face painting for Día de los Muertos, moon cake tasting for MidAutumn Moon Festival, and dancing demonstrations for Diwali.  Several of these books were only published in the last few years, so it is promising to see more representation available to our kids!

BOOK CRITERIA

Since it was difficult to find a large variety of books, here is the general criteria I used to select the list below:

  • Focused on holidays occurring in Fall/Early Winter. The exceptions are Vesak, a Buddhist celebration, and Eid-al-Fitr, a Muslim holiday, which don’t fall in this season.

  • Available on Amazon.com and at the library

  • Includes an activity/recipe to do at home or an author’s note explaining more about the significance of the holiday

  • The story is told from the perspective of a young child

Some disclaimers:

Since many of these holidays are celebrated by billions of people around the world, obviously there will be regional and cultural differences.  The selected books tend to be written from a contemporary American perspective.  There will also be variance across families of what rituals are observed.  (Remember, there’s no “right” way to celebrate a holiday!) Of course, there are other holidays with far greater religious or cultural significance, but I adhered to the criteria listed above.

I also added two non-traditional Thanksgiving books to get you in the mood for practicing gratitude, sharing with neighbors, and gathering with friends and family.  Wishing you all a happy holiday season!

Note: As an Amazon Associate Little Wonders earns from qualifying purchases. 

BOOKS

Rosh Hashanah is Coming! (Age: 1-4)

Amazon / Library

Apple Days (Age: 4-8)

Amazon / Library


Thanking the Moon (Age: 3-7)

Amazon / Library

Mooncakes (Age: 3-5)

Amazon / Library

The Day of the Dead (Age: 4-8)

Amazon / Library

Día de los Muertos (Age: 4-8)

Amazon / Library

Diwali Lights (Age: 0-2)

Amazon / Library

Binny’s Diwali (Age: 4-8)

Amazon / Scholastic / Library

Ramadan: Celebrate the World (Age: 2-4)

Amazon / Library

Amira’s Picture Day (Age: 4-8)

Amazon / Library

The Day the Buddha Woke Up (Age: 0-4)

Amazon / Library

Duck for Turkey Day (Age: 4-8)

Amazon / Library

Giving Thanks: A Native American Good Morning Message (Age: 5-11) 

Amazon / Library

 Angie has two fun kiddos: a girl who refers to herself as “Doggie” and a toddler who flashes her bellybutton in greeting. When she’s not busy searching for misplaced loveys, Angie enjoys tennis, chamber music, and eating all the cheeses.